As I mustered up the courage to walk inside, I felt more than simple fear. I felt vulnerable. I opened the door and scanned the room. I quickly noticed I was the only man, but I was greeted by two of my patients who happened to be in the waiting room.\u00a0So much for anonymity.<\/em><\/p>\n As I was checking in, I heard, \u201cHi Dr. Livingston, it\u2019s nice to see you\u201d from the woman staffing the desk who also happened to be my patient. I am bordering on humiliation at this point. I was then escorted to the back for my mammogram.<\/p>\n While I removed my shirt it crossed my mind that Poetic Justice was at play. I have ordered thousands of mammograms. Now it was my turn to experience what I ask of my patients. As the technician politely entered the room, I stood tall with an air of false confidence dressed in my hospital scrub pants and a paper top with holes for my breasts.<\/p>\n After exchanging small talk, she positioned my breast into a pancake appropriately for the X-Ray. Having heard from patients that mammograms can be painful, I was prepared for discomfort. While there was no physical pain, I confess to an extreme feeling of helplessness standing shirtless, alone in a room with my left breast compressed in a waffle iron. It was over in seconds, and I was able to get dressed.<\/p>\n I sat alone in silence, waiting to hear the results. Intellectually, I knew the odds were overwhelming in my favor that the mass was benign. Still, negative possibilities flooded my thoughts.<\/p>\n My mind immediately went to cancer. I began to plan my last will and testament. I thought through which breast surgeon I would choose, and who I would go see for chemotherapy. Luckily, the doctor quickly reported the mass was benign. No sign of malignancy and surgery would not be necessary.<\/p>\n The experience of getting a mammogram made me a better doctor. True, I will never experience giving birth, menstrual cramps or other gynecologic conditions that I treat. But now I have a better understanding of how women feel when they bravely enter those doors for cancer screening.<\/p>\n I also feel compassion for those who exit the doors with unfortunate, life-changing news. I understand the fear and anxiety of going for cancer screening, and now I have a story to share with any patient who is anxious about getting it done.<\/p>\n Most importantly, I feel gratitude not just for my results but also for the science and technology available to diagnosis treatable illnesses. Mammograms save lives.<\/p>\n Thank you to Live Your Life on Purpose<\/a> for publishing this a article on Medium<\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Blog Author: Dr. <\/span>Jeff Livingston\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n Main Blog Photo By:\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0Jesper Aggergaard<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\nIt\u2019s tough to stand with dignity in a gown with holes for your breasts<\/h4>\n
Our minds take us to dark places<\/h4>\n
Leaving the center, I felt relief and compassion<\/h4>\n
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