{"id":13270,"date":"2020-06-21T15:02:39","date_gmt":"2020-06-21T20:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/macarthurmedi1.wpengine.com\/?p=13270"},"modified":"2020-06-21T15:02:39","modified_gmt":"2020-06-21T20:02:39","slug":"never-let-criticism-hurt-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/blog\/2020\/06\/21\/never-let-criticism-hurt-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Let Criticism Hurt You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Take back control of your emotions.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Your boss says, \u201cyou suck at your job.\u201d Your mother-in-law points out your expanding waistline. Your business receives a new one-star online review. Your coach benches you because \u201cyou are too slow on the basketball court.\u201d Critics are everywhere. They will always be there.<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Being criticized hurts. It hurts because we are human. We experience pain when others point out our weaknesses and our faults.\u00a0Often, our critics go for the jugular, attacking the areas where we are the most insecure.\u00a0This augments the pain.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>How do we manage omnipresent critics?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>Choose how you receive detractors<\/h3>\n

<\/a> We frame negative comments as either helpful or hurtful. When criticism is valuable, we call it constructive. We understand our boss, coach, spouse, or colleague has our best interests at heart. When criticism is hurtful, we cast off the detractor as\u00a0a\u00a0jerk. In both circumstances, our focus is on the person attacking us.\u00a0We are reacting to the detractor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>In a growth mindset, we shift our attention inward<\/h3>\n

<\/a> Reacting to the other person does not serve us. It gives power to the critic.\u00a0But it is not the critic who triggers our feelings. Our interpretation of their words do. The thoughts in our head trigger our emotions. We can choose how we interpret criticism.\u00a0Our\u00a0thoughts determine whether these moments become\u00a0constructive or\u00a0destructive.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>The easy path leads nowhere<\/h3>\n

<\/a> Most of us take the easy way out, allowing criticism to be destructive. The negativity feeds our self-doubt. It empowers the voice inside our heads telling us we are not good enough. We get down on ourselves. Our self-confidence sinks. We become angry, depressed, resentful, or withdrawn. Inadvertently,\u00a0we relinquish control to the critic, giving\u00a0them strength, as they now control our emotional response.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>The harder path leads to self-discovery<\/h3>\n

<\/a> Our critics expose our blind spots.\u00a0They open a window that we prefer to keep closed.\u00a0We are exposed. Instead of slamming the window closed, muster the courage to stick our heads in and look around. Seeing ourselves from a different perspective, we get a glimpse at our blind spots. In these moments, criticism transforms into opportunity.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>Listen to our critics<\/h3>\n

<\/a> Elements of truth are often present when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.\u00a0When we listen and process the words of our critics, we find opportunities to learn. We can categorize criticism as true or untrue, and useful or useless. None of our attention should be waisted on that which is false or useless. All of our energy should be focused on what is true and useful.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Interpreting Criticism<\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Criticism Transformed<\/h3>\n

<\/a> Ignore what is untrue. Expend no energy on criticism that is not useful, even if it is true.\u00a0Spend your bandwidth on criticism that is true and useful to you in achieving your goals.\u00a0Embracing the useful truth robs the critic\u2019s power over your emotions.\u00a0Find the truth. Embrace\u00a0it. Ignore the\u00a0rest.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you to <\/span><\/i>The Startup<\/span><\/i><\/a> for publishing this article on Medium<\/a>.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Blog Author: Dr. Jeff Livingston<\/a><\/p>\n

Main blog photo by: Nathan Dumlao<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Take back control of your emotions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13273,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[168],"class_list":["post-13270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jeff-livingston","tag-criticism","post_format-post-format-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13270"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13270\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expioconsulting.com\/macarthur\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}